Dimes Must Die

Here's a man with a mission:

"The March of Dimes may have cured Polio, but a march of Quarters would have cured it 250% faster."

He has a kind of point there.

How To Be A Successful Evil Overlord

As this page is entirely in Comic Sans, I cannot recommend that you visit it.

SPADER SMELLS SHATNER IN BED SCENE

Best. Headline. Ever. And the actual story is equally mindblowing.

Universal rights gone bonkers

Remember Voyager I? 28 years after its launch it's now the first piece of interstellar junk ever. Or is it? Remember, it has that record on - you know, the one with sounds of Earth, etc. So, assuming the aliens can sense sound waves (and that's a big if), and can work out how to work a record player, they should be listening to a whole bunch of stuff.

But not The Beatles.

Why? Find out here...

Abused Amazon Images

You know those insanely long URLs you get when you look up anything on Amazon? Well, like you'd expect, every bit means something, and that applies for the image URLs too.

What's fun is that Nat Gertler has taught himself how to hack those image URLs to make (kind of) art. It's er... kind of hard to explain and far easier to go there and look for yourself...

.:: BUMPERBALL ::.

Crazy title, crazy game. Bumperball is pretty much what it says on the tin - playing football with bumper cars, and it is highly addictive for all that.

Play Bumperball here: and make the most of it because I'm off to Prague in a few minutes.

Told you I needed a holiday. See you Sunday.

Making bras...

...out of men's underwear. This gets me oddly curious.

Did I ever tell you how much I hate prissy girls?

Is it art, or is it just plain old crap?

Have a go at this quiz and find out the hard way.

Hello

Lionel Richie's video for Hello must be one of the most cringesome ever made. I remember plotting a spoof version of this video which ended with a dummy being hurled off the top of Morrison's car park in Grantham.

Y'see - I never claimed to be tasteful; but neither was the original.

Relive the video here.

Control and Communication in the Animal and the Machine

Or, to put it mure succinctly, a cockroach-powered robot.

Woah. I need a holiday.

DIY Laser Sword Sex Toy

I have never seen any of the Star Wars franchise. My fear is that I may meet someone who thinks making a homemade Laser Sword Sex Toy is a good idea.

My flesh is crawling already.

Animation time!

The picture above is a still from Guilty, an animation accompanying a song of the same name by yours truly, made by the very talented Richard Tingley.

Watch it here.

Crazed...

...is the only way to describe this eBay auction.

There's some funny people out there.

King of the Flies

Quite a disturbing little animation, about... about.... Oh, just watch it.

A room with a view

Not that I'd want to live in it...

Bomb detection on the cheap

Now, this is an interesting use of lo-tech:

"A young private in that platoon has one of those radio-controlled toy cars. When they find unidentifiable debris in the road, E.S. sends out his little RC car and rams it. If it's light enough to be moved or knocked over, it's too light to be a bomb, so we can approach it and get rid of it. If it's heavy, we call EOD. At night, they duct tape a flashlight to the car."

Going "Outside the Wire" with RC Cars

Spamusement

Spam. I love it. Many a happy hour has been spent reading spam subject lines out loud for the endless mirth and enjoyment it causes. Then I inject heroin into my eyeballs.

So email is next-to-useless for any normal purpose. Never mind, there's always this bunch of poorly-drawn cartoons inspired by actual spam subject lines.

Ah; I feel better already.

The picture says it all, really

I've seen cases where the Beeb get stick for inappropriate photos and/or captions. This one was so right, I snorted my tea - and I support Manchester City, for crying out loud.

I have to laugh. Hey, I could be Delia Smith.

Here's one for the ladies....

I was faffing around in old-computers.com this morning when I found this: the Honeywell H-316 - AKA the Kitchen Computer.

$10,600 in 1965, it had 4KB of memory, weighed 150lbs and came with a chopping board.

I'm NOT making this up.

Geek Fantasies

It's a wind-up. Tell me it's a windup.

If it isn't I can think of at least one person wanting to slobber into his beer over this.

Michael Dragson

Have tons of child-like fun with this conceptual marriage of Michael Jackson and Mr Potatohead.

I got "child", "fun" and "Michael Jackson" in the same sentence. Yay for me.

Mom Crashes Car Into Son Leaving Hospital

Is Ron Carter the unluckiest man alive?

If this was Britain, he'd probably get MRSA the second time around.

I wish I was a theremin... bra???

Is it a windup? Is it for real? Who cares - it's a good story:

"The incredibly outrageous, beautiful & talented Miss Alice Malloy plays her amazing homemade theremin bra at Don Hill's - Stunned and amazed, the crowd has yet to recover."

Well, that's one way of putting it.

An apology

The astute of you will have noticed that AAH disappeared off the face of the earth the other day and has only just been restored. That's because my wonderful hosting company forgot to renew the domain (although I'd long since paid the invoice).

I'm about this far off a "name and shame" session.

It's a server. Of sorts.

And I can think of at least one person who's now considering buying a mac on the back of this marvellous creation...

New music

i wish i was a theramin: 1:00, quicktime stream

Electronic instrument as metaphor for...

I'm not spelling it out.

Sorry I haven't been blogging for a few days

I have a new and rather time-consuming hobby.

Make a note of this.

I once had a stand-up row about time travel and human consciousness. I was drunk in Northern France. Need I say more? Good.

Let's get to the point. MIT (42:21:36.025°N, 71:05:16.332°W) are having a Time Traveller Convention on Saturday 7th May 2005 at 7pm EDT. Feel free to turn up by 10pm.

Now; the point is that we should need only one of these conventions. Face it, time travellers should be able to attend, shouldn't they?

The point missed, however, is why should they want to go somewhere as primitive as MIT in the early 21st century?

Mummy

These dolls scare me.

Bacon Strips Bandages

There's something terribly wrong about Bacon Strips Bandages. Work it out for yourself.

Boom! Meow!

A stupid, sick, yet addictive game that involves firing cats out of cannons.
A worthy successor to all those Pingu things, I feel. Enjoy!

Horseballs!

That's the first thing I intend to say when I turn up at work tomorrow, and I will cite this video of horses who think they're dogs as my justification.

Horses. I've never trusted them since a bunch of 'em invaded my garden when I was little. It took the owner, a lollipop man and a photographer from the local paper to resolve the situation. Hoofy, stampy bastards.

Ba-dink-dink...

If you're of a certain age, then "Ba-dink-dink..." will conjure up drunken lunges onto the dancefloor, crazed dancing and manic singalongs with girlies' voices shrieking "Don't touch me, puh-lease/I cannot STAND the way you TEASE". Yeah. Tainted Love. Not Soft Cell's best single (that's Torch, IMNVHO), but certainly the one you had to live under a rock to avoid. The regular reader of this blog (hello, you!) will know that Soft Cell have a special hold on my psyche. So imagine my surprise when, in a fit of nostalgia-based googling, I found this gem.

Mike Thorne was Soft Cell's producer and a major influence on their sound and, do you know, he's not a bad writer either: especially when he's describing the making of Tainted Love. It's a great read - fascinating stuff for anybody interested in the process of making music or for anybody who owned the record. Aficionados of Almond & Ball may want to look at the links at the bottom of the page, including the link to the making of Non-Stop Ecstatic Dancing - the first ecstasy-influenced record by a British band: a milestone few talk about, but one that undoubtedly belongs to Soft Cell.

It's quite the fascinating read. In fact, have a poke around the whole site. It's a bank holiday: it's not as if you're doing anything...

The spirit of Ken Kesey lives on...

Don't get me started on Ken Kesey. If you spend more than eight minutes in Eugene/Springfield, you'll trip over someone who knew him, went to school with him, slept with his son or something. Suffice to say the KK legacy is the reason I can't watch Animal House without cringing. Let's say no more than that, eh?

Anyhoo, it looks like the Merry Pranksters are back and running the Best Western Yosemite Gateway Inn.

"Mummy! The gift shop is melting!"

Play with her face

There's a slightly power-crazed teenager lurking in my inner psyche that is enjoying playing with this, I'm ashamed to admit.

No I'm not. Christ on a bike, this is fun.