Grantham Journal Facebook User Of The Week

Can anybody explain what I did to deserve that?

Wrong, wrong, wrong.

I've lost count on just how many counts this is wrong.

ABSOLUTELY STUNNING ERECT FOX WITH LAMP WALKING STICK

Don't laugh.

This is not funny.

I Have Become My Father

I Have Become My Father
Originally uploaded by sp3ccylad

Round at Česka's the other night, I was playing with my new phone, faffing with mirrors and generally looking for ways to surprise myself. 

Imagine my surprise when I saw my father's face looking down at me, disapproving.

It scares the living shit out of me.

Age-appropriateness

I've just found out that, according to last.fm, I'm the oldest person going to see Jens Lekman over at the Woodhouse Liberal Club in May.

Should this worry me? Could someone older than me buy a ticket? 

Please?

A Blonde Moment

This morning, I'm having a swift listen to Someone to Drive you Home, The Long Blondes' first album: as tomorrow sees the official release date for "Couples", the new album by the band I am rapidly coming to regard as one of the most exciting bands Yorkshire has produced in years, because, unlike Kid Acne, I'm of the belief that there's more to South Yorks than drizzle and dogging: and I really couldn't give an arse these days for Arctic Monkeys. Well, c'mon…

Anyway, back to the task in hand. I'm listening to an album that I've held in high regard for a long time. Hell, I had tickets for The Blondes' March gig at Fibbers back in mid-December. I nearly, nearly gave them up (long story, a lot of emotional upset), but the pull of witnessing Dorian Cox's ventriloquism act proved too great in the end. What, of course, colours the mix is the fact that "Couples" has been part of my playlist for the last two weeks or so.

So what do I think? Suddenly, it's underwhelming. Odd that: two weeks of the new album has rendered Someone... one-dimensional and shown it up as the relatively minor work it is compared with "Couples". Of course, the second album has many of the tics that plague not just The Long Blondes' music, but British indie music in general (guitar hooks in unison with vocals, melodic lines overly wedded to the root of the power chord like sub-Buzzcocks thrash, etc), but whereas the new album has some interesting breaks with style, Someone... now has all the feel of Elvis Costello's production job for The Specials' eponymous first album: charming, but simplistic and underdone, whilst still managing to be ground-breaking at the time.

What's changed? What's going on? Well, I suppose the change of producer helps. The hiring of Steve Mackey, the former bassist in Pulp, shaped the sound more than many people gave credit: listen to Dorian Cox's backing vocals, and then argue that point with me.

Actually, don't. I'll just sit there with my arms folded looking smug, like I do. You know that look.

No: what The Blondes needed, desperately needed was something that would divest them of that "Sound of Swinging Sheffield" tag that subconsciously followed them around due to Mackey's competent-but-flawed production job. Something that would make Someone... feel like Please Please Me sounds once you listen to any other Beatles album.

Erol Alkan's yer man, people. Seriously in demand right now, having just produced Twenty One for erstwhile prog-rock fetishists Mystery Jets and, having invigorated their sound with fizzy, dirty 80's synths, he grabs The Long Blondes by the scruff of the neck and invigorates their sound with fizzy, dirty 80's synths.

You spotting a pattern here?

Here's the thing though: it works. Furthermore, it's not just the synths that belie a greater maturity. "Century", the opening track on both their recent live sets and the new album, has been garnering a lot of attention for its glassy 80's sound (shades of late Banshees and Propaganda for me), but it's the sinuous, snaky feel of the instrumentation, what the music is doing harmonically that is the key. It's a million miles away from those awful tics I mentioned up the page: melody plays with countermelody, angular arpeggiators break up the more melodically unified moments. And that's just the first track.

I'm not going to go through it track-by-track, blow-by-blow. If you didn't like "Century" (and I'm sure there are plenty that don't), the new album manages to draw on more familiar aural territory for The Blondes whilst developing both lyrically and musically. In particular, "The Couples" stands out as beautiful, bitter, heart-breaking, heart-broken pop at its very best. It spoke to me.

The short recommendation is: BUY IT. Available on iTunes today with bonus tracks, and available in the shops tomorrow. Come round to my place and give me a kicking should you feel let down.

I slipped (out).

125,920 PeopleSorry.

I love my new phone.

This is why.

Mad Magazine's finest moments...

As a teenager, Mad was a guilty pleasure for me. Like masturbation, I suppose. 

C'mon, it was the late '70s. 

Anyway - I don't reckon to posting stuff that appeared in the B3ta newsletter, but I make one helluvan exception for this. It's a gallery of a selection of Mad magazine's excellent fold-ins, as designed by the god-like Al Jaffee and lovingly animated by The New York Times

Quotes of the Week

It's been a funny old week this week over at Sp3ccylad Towers. All sorts of the shiznit has been going on in my life (none of it I could have remotely have guessed at at the beginning of the week), and it's picked up a fair amount of the quoteage. Here's the highlights.

Me, on the phone to my mother:

"Quick question, mum. Is your phone O2?"

"My mobile? No, it starts 07 like everybody else's."

My mate Andy, texting about Dr Who, and he's not at all displeased:

"Hated the whole episode. Fucking fat people giving birth to Flumps. What is RT Davies' fucking problem? C Tate was about the best of a bad lot. Total crap."

That's you told, Russell T Davies.