Art Basel 36'05: a funny old place

Like I say; Art Basel is a funny old place. I was at Art 22'91. When I say "at" I'm not being strictly accurate.

I was working for an art gallery in Bradford and our application to exhibit at Art 22'91 had been turned down as we weren't flavour of the month anymore. So we fought back good and hard. We got in touch with a gallery in Basel (Galerie Goetz on Steinentorstrasse), arranged two floors' worth of exhibition space and took £500,000 worth of contemporary art over. Oh, and me. In costume. For the opening, I played a Milliganesque butler who doddered about spilling Earl Grey tea and falling down two flights of stairs. My party piece was to hassle people who didn't want tea by forgetting I'd asked them. I managed to ask one guy 15 times. It didn't make up for missing Happy Mondays playing Elland Road, but it was a giggle.

I had to do something outside Art Basel itself to bring the punters our way. It was on the other side of town at the Messe so we needed to do something spectacular. We had a newspaper printed up in German and English and I had a costume made from a design by Isabelle Craven. Gold boots, black tights, gold belt, a black top with a crest, a blue floppy hat, a red cape and an electric blue codpiece. My character was called "SuperHuman", and he was the crappiest superhero ever. No special powers; just very, very human.

Then there was the logistics. Two tram journeys each way. In costume. Twice a day. I got to the point where I would sweep onto the tram, cape flowing, and breezily greet my fellow commuters. "Good morning!" I would declaim, "Are we ready to fight evil?" The Swiss are more reticent than the British, by the way.

I would do my bit in 90˚F, sweat, go to the gallery, drink free beer and step out in the evening with a delightful young woman called Daniela who worked in an English language bookshop by day and swore like a trooper by night. She learned English in Ramsgate. Need I say more? Dani now has two kids. Funny old world.

Why do I mention this? Because at Art Basel 36'05, a bar of soap has sold for $18,000. But not just any old bar of soap. Read on.

Teenage Kicks 3000

The regular reader of this blog may remember that I took the death of John Peel rather hard. I was by no means the only one - the man informed the musical taste of a generation. Since the Peelmeister's death, a number of sites have cropped up painstakingly archiving the man's work. Teenage Kicks 3000 is but one of the crop, and I blog it just at the point when the keeper of TK3K lists the Festive Fifty for 1986. It's a festive fifty I remember well - I was a first year Drama student at the time. Peelie actually lectured his listeners for predictability - The Smiths made up seven of the fifty and four of the top ten. I remember him hitting the heights of tetchyness when he revealed the number one, threatening to knock the whole exercise on the head unless his listeners showed more imagination...

Can you imagine any media figure today both garnering such affection and acting in such a way? Such was the legend that was Peelie. What a guy.

DIY corner

Got a table saw and a baby? Well, here's a do-it-yourself project you can start this afternoon.

NO! READ THE PAGE FIRST!

Bible Sex Stories

Yes. No mysteries here. I get a very strong feeling some people won't like this. Go on. Take a peek. I won't tell.

There are some funny people out there, part 97

I love wild water rides at theme parks. In fact it's my second favourite thing at theme parks - after the exit, that is.

On the other hand, we have a bloke who's so enamoured with the whole wild water thing, that he's actually built one. In his back garden. Out of wood. And... stuff. I'm not sure I'd want to run the risk of living next door to him. I mean, this project seems pretty cool to play with, but what is the next project going to be? God help Germany if this guy ever gets an obsession with nuclear weaponry. Take a look at the pictures (which are just the right side of rubbish for maximum comic potential) here.

The amazing four-eyed cat

And I don't mean it wears glasses. Otherwise it would be sp3ccycat. Actually, that's given me an idea. In the meantime, enjoy the story of the Oregon cat born with two faces.

PS. I blogged this in bed.

It's summer! And that MUST mean ginger beer!

And vurt.co.uk has had a crack at making the stuff. It's not quite an authentic ginger beer plant, but it's quick and easy. It's all detailed here.

Intel Ins... No, I can't say it.

Intel processors in Macs. I'm still shaking my head.

And you know what gets to me the most? It's that sticker. So: how will Apple deal with the issue? Nitrozac and Snaggy have some ideas over at The Joy of Tech.

File under: scurrilous.

Wally Wise knows to go inside

Umatilla. It's a great place. The chemical dustbin of Eastern Oregon, it's where all those nasty chemicals that the US Army hold that other countries (don't actually) have are being destroyed.

Just in case your kids don't get how dangerous the US soon-to-be-destroyed WMDs are, we have the worst computer game in the world to tell them what to do in case of an emergency. Can Wally Wise avoid having his shell seared off with noxious chemicals? Will he do the right thing?

This makes the Tufty Club look sophisticated. Eep.

Casefancasefancase

Mad PC user takes cooling to insane levels.

Whoops!

Looks like somebody left a stealth bomber out for the cameras...

Security!

The messages companies give out are often at odds with the reality of their content. We all know that. Hell, I have a sister who's spent the last few years pointing that out.

Ask yourself this question. What if one of the silhouetted guys from an iPod ad actually walked into an Apple Store and did his Thing? The answer is right here in this quicktime video.

Wince along with me when he drops his iPod, won't you?

An (attempted) murder of crows

First it's cats bending our minds, now it's crows attacking. This is one of those days where a theme seems to develop. Apparently a jogger was attacked in Battersea Park by a pair of crows the other day. Now I'm not talking a little peck here: this is full on Tippi Hedren stuff.

Take a peek here for the full horror. Woah.

Cats practice mind control - FACT

My cat is taking over my brain. Well, according to this article in the Times she is.

What?

Yes. It's an iPod cover made out of chain mail. Get the full skinny at Uncle Horn Head

German city builds 'sex huts' for World Cup

Yup: that's what it said.

Out last night

Went to see this guy (on gut instinct): the I-can-happily-say-in-retrospect fantastic Duke Special. A bunch of kind, thoughtful songs delivered in a broad (but not harsh) Belfast accent with wit and style. One to watch in the future, I hope.

His website is here.

Come to that, the support acts weren't bad either. David Ford delivered a great set that featured a park bench and on-set painting (and - sad, but true - I own the painting *parp*), and I arrived during Alec Townsend's set. He's in local band Serotonin and (frankly) he surprised me with the sheer maturity of his songcraft.

A great night, and some great music.
(And no. I'm not putting an apostrophe in.)

Hello Kitty stress test

Yes. You can be psychologically analysed by a Japanese trademark with dodgy English if you click here.

Wow. Have I achieved some sort of Zen state?

Vintage Phamaceutical Ads

These are great. I mean: got a fretful child? Shove Nembutal up the little darling's arse.

More crazy drug adverts here.

Exit Mundi

What was it Robert Frost said about the end of the world? Forget it. This is the real deal. Exit Mundi is a fascinating selection of end-of-the-world scenarios that may or may not happen. Sounds gloomy? Don't you believe it. This is excellent stuff. Witty, engaging and compelling.

Matters of national security...

Matters of national security...
Originally uploaded by JodyDigger.

OK. This takes the biscuit. This road sign really says "Secret Nuclear Bunker".

I'm not entirely sure how to react to this.

Ah me. Memories.

A page full of vintage BBC radio themes.

Brought memories of sitting in front of a Pye valve radio in the kitchen with a dodgy ITT cassette recorder taping selections from Tom Browne's Top 40 show on a Sunday. My little sister had a choice recording of The Brotherhood of Man's Figaro being interrupted by my dad lamping my middle sister for gobbing phlegm in the kitchen sink. She used to dig the cassette out and we'd nearly wet ourselves laughing.

Grantham was a bit dull in those days.

Penn Jillette names daughter Moxie CrimeFighter

Best. Name. Ever.

Woah.

Boy! I say, boy! Let's buy a chicken suit!

One of the greatest humiliations I ever had in the workplace was when I dressed up as a carrot on the streets of Bradford to advertise the veggy cafe at the art gallery I was shirking in. I rapidly got a lesson in the joys of Yorkshire plain speaking. How I craved a proper job after that.

I mention that as when I navigated towards this I thought the chicken suit was something to be worn by humans: but oh, no - this is a suit for chickens:

"Austrian Edgar Honetschlaeger said he decided to work with the Japanese on the project because he hoped to make the chicken label clothing essential. He said 'It's something that you don't really need but everyone wants to have anyway'."

Clothing for chickens: for the Rhode Island Red in your life. Brian Friedkin would approve.

By the way, in a bit of a diversion (and this is SO not safe for work) I was looking through the aforementioned Mr Friedkin's site when I found some pictures of my old back garden (Brian was my next-door neighbour, and we shared a garden space). The thing is, all the pictures have a lady in advanced stages of undress, flashing pink bits everywhere.

I feel odd.

Still, it's a nice garden. It has some nice bushes, anyway.

Monkey Steals the Peach (Ninja Mind Control)

Monkey Steals the Peach (Ninja Mind Control)
Originally uploaded by Theremina.

Ow. OW! OWWW!

What is it about these ninjas, leaping around silently, stealing one's peaches?

Marvel here at this scan from a book called Ninja Mind Control, where our black-clad fighting mammal demonstrates how to stop that bloke from Dr Alex Comfort's The Joy of Sex from engaging in any more pencil-sketched shenanigans in an extremely decisive manner.

Incidentally, the bit about the heart stopping is well-founded in western medicine, I am reliably informed by the resident ex-nurse (and current wife).

My testicles have retracted into my sinuses. Egad.

You Make Me Sick, too

You Make Me Sick
Originally uploaded by Erik R. Bishoff.

Absolutely priceless - May 25th, 13th and University on the UO campus in Eugene.

It's quite the list isn't it?

Maddening bouncy ball game

Say hello to POOM!, a quite insane 3D keepie-uppie game. It's well tricky.

Play it here.

Dress up Steve Jobs

Explore the Apple CEO's insanely great magic closet. It's simple, it's fun and holy crap I'm late for work.

Dimes Must Die

Here's a man with a mission:

"The March of Dimes may have cured Polio, but a march of Quarters would have cured it 250% faster."

He has a kind of point there.

How To Be A Successful Evil Overlord

As this page is entirely in Comic Sans, I cannot recommend that you visit it.

SPADER SMELLS SHATNER IN BED SCENE

Best. Headline. Ever. And the actual story is equally mindblowing.

Universal rights gone bonkers

Remember Voyager I? 28 years after its launch it's now the first piece of interstellar junk ever. Or is it? Remember, it has that record on - you know, the one with sounds of Earth, etc. So, assuming the aliens can sense sound waves (and that's a big if), and can work out how to work a record player, they should be listening to a whole bunch of stuff.

But not The Beatles.

Why? Find out here...

Abused Amazon Images

You know those insanely long URLs you get when you look up anything on Amazon? Well, like you'd expect, every bit means something, and that applies for the image URLs too.

What's fun is that Nat Gertler has taught himself how to hack those image URLs to make (kind of) art. It's er... kind of hard to explain and far easier to go there and look for yourself...

.:: BUMPERBALL ::.

Crazy title, crazy game. Bumperball is pretty much what it says on the tin - playing football with bumper cars, and it is highly addictive for all that.

Play Bumperball here: and make the most of it because I'm off to Prague in a few minutes.

Told you I needed a holiday. See you Sunday.

Making bras...

...out of men's underwear. This gets me oddly curious.

Did I ever tell you how much I hate prissy girls?

Is it art, or is it just plain old crap?

Have a go at this quiz and find out the hard way.

Hello

Lionel Richie's video for Hello must be one of the most cringesome ever made. I remember plotting a spoof version of this video which ended with a dummy being hurled off the top of Morrison's car park in Grantham.

Y'see - I never claimed to be tasteful; but neither was the original.

Relive the video here.

Control and Communication in the Animal and the Machine

Or, to put it mure succinctly, a cockroach-powered robot.

Woah. I need a holiday.

DIY Laser Sword Sex Toy

I have never seen any of the Star Wars franchise. My fear is that I may meet someone who thinks making a homemade Laser Sword Sex Toy is a good idea.

My flesh is crawling already.

Animation time!

The picture above is a still from Guilty, an animation accompanying a song of the same name by yours truly, made by the very talented Richard Tingley.

Watch it here.

Crazed...

...is the only way to describe this eBay auction.

There's some funny people out there.

King of the Flies

Quite a disturbing little animation, about... about.... Oh, just watch it.

A room with a view

Not that I'd want to live in it...

Bomb detection on the cheap

Now, this is an interesting use of lo-tech:

"A young private in that platoon has one of those radio-controlled toy cars. When they find unidentifiable debris in the road, E.S. sends out his little RC car and rams it. If it's light enough to be moved or knocked over, it's too light to be a bomb, so we can approach it and get rid of it. If it's heavy, we call EOD. At night, they duct tape a flashlight to the car."

Going "Outside the Wire" with RC Cars

Spamusement

Spam. I love it. Many a happy hour has been spent reading spam subject lines out loud for the endless mirth and enjoyment it causes. Then I inject heroin into my eyeballs.

So email is next-to-useless for any normal purpose. Never mind, there's always this bunch of poorly-drawn cartoons inspired by actual spam subject lines.

Ah; I feel better already.

The picture says it all, really

I've seen cases where the Beeb get stick for inappropriate photos and/or captions. This one was so right, I snorted my tea - and I support Manchester City, for crying out loud.

I have to laugh. Hey, I could be Delia Smith.

Here's one for the ladies....

I was faffing around in old-computers.com this morning when I found this: the Honeywell H-316 - AKA the Kitchen Computer.

$10,600 in 1965, it had 4KB of memory, weighed 150lbs and came with a chopping board.

I'm NOT making this up.

Geek Fantasies

It's a wind-up. Tell me it's a windup.

If it isn't I can think of at least one person wanting to slobber into his beer over this.

Michael Dragson

Have tons of child-like fun with this conceptual marriage of Michael Jackson and Mr Potatohead.

I got "child", "fun" and "Michael Jackson" in the same sentence. Yay for me.

Mom Crashes Car Into Son Leaving Hospital

Is Ron Carter the unluckiest man alive?

If this was Britain, he'd probably get MRSA the second time around.

I wish I was a theremin... bra???

Is it a windup? Is it for real? Who cares - it's a good story:

"The incredibly outrageous, beautiful & talented Miss Alice Malloy plays her amazing homemade theremin bra at Don Hill's - Stunned and amazed, the crowd has yet to recover."

Well, that's one way of putting it.

An apology

The astute of you will have noticed that AAH disappeared off the face of the earth the other day and has only just been restored. That's because my wonderful hosting company forgot to renew the domain (although I'd long since paid the invoice).

I'm about this far off a "name and shame" session.

It's a server. Of sorts.

And I can think of at least one person who's now considering buying a mac on the back of this marvellous creation...

New music

i wish i was a theramin: 1:00, quicktime stream

Electronic instrument as metaphor for...

I'm not spelling it out.

Sorry I haven't been blogging for a few days

I have a new and rather time-consuming hobby.

Make a note of this.

I once had a stand-up row about time travel and human consciousness. I was drunk in Northern France. Need I say more? Good.

Let's get to the point. MIT (42:21:36.025°N, 71:05:16.332°W) are having a Time Traveller Convention on Saturday 7th May 2005 at 7pm EDT. Feel free to turn up by 10pm.

Now; the point is that we should need only one of these conventions. Face it, time travellers should be able to attend, shouldn't they?

The point missed, however, is why should they want to go somewhere as primitive as MIT in the early 21st century?

Mummy

These dolls scare me.

Bacon Strips Bandages

There's something terribly wrong about Bacon Strips Bandages. Work it out for yourself.

Boom! Meow!

A stupid, sick, yet addictive game that involves firing cats out of cannons.
A worthy successor to all those Pingu things, I feel. Enjoy!

Horseballs!

That's the first thing I intend to say when I turn up at work tomorrow, and I will cite this video of horses who think they're dogs as my justification.

Horses. I've never trusted them since a bunch of 'em invaded my garden when I was little. It took the owner, a lollipop man and a photographer from the local paper to resolve the situation. Hoofy, stampy bastards.

Ba-dink-dink...

If you're of a certain age, then "Ba-dink-dink..." will conjure up drunken lunges onto the dancefloor, crazed dancing and manic singalongs with girlies' voices shrieking "Don't touch me, puh-lease/I cannot STAND the way you TEASE". Yeah. Tainted Love. Not Soft Cell's best single (that's Torch, IMNVHO), but certainly the one you had to live under a rock to avoid. The regular reader of this blog (hello, you!) will know that Soft Cell have a special hold on my psyche. So imagine my surprise when, in a fit of nostalgia-based googling, I found this gem.

Mike Thorne was Soft Cell's producer and a major influence on their sound and, do you know, he's not a bad writer either: especially when he's describing the making of Tainted Love. It's a great read - fascinating stuff for anybody interested in the process of making music or for anybody who owned the record. Aficionados of Almond & Ball may want to look at the links at the bottom of the page, including the link to the making of Non-Stop Ecstatic Dancing - the first ecstasy-influenced record by a British band: a milestone few talk about, but one that undoubtedly belongs to Soft Cell.

It's quite the fascinating read. In fact, have a poke around the whole site. It's a bank holiday: it's not as if you're doing anything...

The spirit of Ken Kesey lives on...

Don't get me started on Ken Kesey. If you spend more than eight minutes in Eugene/Springfield, you'll trip over someone who knew him, went to school with him, slept with his son or something. Suffice to say the KK legacy is the reason I can't watch Animal House without cringing. Let's say no more than that, eh?

Anyhoo, it looks like the Merry Pranksters are back and running the Best Western Yosemite Gateway Inn.

"Mummy! The gift shop is melting!"

Play with her face

There's a slightly power-crazed teenager lurking in my inner psyche that is enjoying playing with this, I'm ashamed to admit.

No I'm not. Christ on a bike, this is fun.

How to make your own hooves

That's it. How to make your own hooves. You know. Hooves.

Steve, Don't Eat It

When I was first taken to the Main Street Market, on 42nd and Main in Spfld, Or (pronounced Spuffledor) I must admit some of the products scared me a tad. I wanted to try them, but I just bottled it.

Looks like I did the right thing, as the aforementioned Steve is sampling all those products on our behalf.

Good man. Let's have a whipround for his medical bills.

Cripes

A mindboggling piece of maths here. Someone's taken the doctrine of transubstantiation and done the maths to work out how big Jesus would have to be to supply that much blood and flesh.

Suffice to say, He's very big indeed.

Lonely hearts-a-rama

Right. So St Paul, Minnesota is a no-no. We decided that the other night, didn't we? You decide to advertise instead. But where? First of all, how's about the London Review of Books? Witty, erudite and oh, so arch.

Failing that, how's about a favourite freak show over at Sp3ccylad towers? The Eugene Weekly's Alternatives column? It'll fair take your breath away in places. There are some funny people out there, I tell you. For a slightly gentler slice of Eugenean life scoll up the page to "i saw u". There's the odd "aaaah" there.

Go on, softies. Take a look.

I don't fancy yours much

It's a rough life in Minnesota. You're a tad too close to Canada for comfort and it's bloody cold in winter. Well, you have Prince. That's something.

However, have special pity in your hearts for the citizens of St Paul. Not only do they have to turn away loads of pilgrims in purple ("No, he lived in Minneapolis. That's next door. Sorry."), but their prostitutes are well nasty*. Check out these photos from the police dept for details. They start kind of OK and just degenerate.

*Sp3ccylad is reminded of a time when he lost the keys to his bike lock somewhere in downtown Springfield (Cycling! How Oregon!). Whilst looking for them, he passed by a woman who seemed to spend a lot of time on the same corner just off of 5th and Main. As he passed her (repeatedly, scouring the ground for dropped keys) he said "hi", mainly because he thought she deserved some human contact that wasn't a business transaction, she seemed a nice kind of person, and she didn't seem to be there because she liked it. A few weeks later, the wife and I were down at Grocery Outlet on South 14th (Look, I know that place is icky and cheap but it's the only place in Springfield where you could reliably get custard cream biscuits), when a woman joined the queue at the checkout behind us. Youngish, quite pretty and struggling unaided with a rather grumpy toddler who seemed overdue for a nap. She smiled embarrassedly like mothers do as the toddler got more and more fractious; then she seemed to recognise me and said "hi." Absent-mindedly, I returned the greeting. "Who's that?" asked wifey. "Oh, blimey," I said. "I don't know. You know my memory for names and faces..." About three minutes later, as we left the store, I brightened up as I had a eureka moment... "Oh! Yes! I re-mem-ber! She's a prostitute!" I said, rather naively, and sounding slightly too pleased with myself for remembering. The resultant explanation was at least as long as this footnote. Probably longer, knowing me.

A moonwalking bird

Oh, yes. Exactly what it says on the tin.

I'm as childish as hell, but...

I challenge you to try and read this article without at least smirking.

It's the word "squat" that gets me every time.

They'll run me out of Grantham next time I visit. That much I'm sure of.

Penguins. The new peril in the air.

So consider yourself lucky the goons at Denver International Airport decided to shake down the shifty, flightless bastards.

It's nice to know we're always one step ahead of international terrorists.

No link here

I just want to hurt your brain.

Home of the crocheted vulva

Waah! I'm scared!

Recruiting the A-Team

Using Craig's List and a well-thought out questionnaire.

So - what do you think?

OK, Brits (both of you) - have a crack at this. It's not one of those tiresome sites that says "you think this, therefore you should be voting this way" - it simply assesses your views on a number of key issues and presents those views as a comparison to the rest of the country. Oddly interesting, considering that this is the dullest election campaign I can remember (and goodness knows I've got a long memory).

For the record, these are my results. Oh, like you care.

Actually, if you do care what I think (why?) then why not post a link to your results in the comments?

More of teh crasy Engrish

And this is quite fantastic:

"No matter men and women,old and young, it is unavoidable to want and wash hair for everyone to avoid, finish washing after the hair each time, Wet hair glue at hair really feels a paining , especially cold winter, That wet long hair of lady liking to be beautiful is extremely easy to get the clothes of the back wet, Very apt to cause the cold and headache, is this reason if women wash hair prudently in pregnant and menstrual period."

See?

Yay!

Sweaty knackers? Sweaty no more.

Flick The Bean

This is not as exciting as many of my readers will have hoped.

Eh, ladies?

A celebration of non-penetration.

This is bad and I've only just finished wiping the tears from my eyes. Those lovely people from Abstinence Only neglected to register the web address so they got the website they deserve.

Best read at work if you hate your job and you want to get fired.

I saw the face of Oprah

in Queen Creek, AZ.

Death to all foreign sauces!

A mad Japanese animation concerning soy sauce. Oddly, the singer sounds like B3ta's ginger führer, Rob "one word from me will screw over your bandwidth" Manuel.

Frog watches lobster...

listen to Hall and Oates.

Riveting.

Cats that wish to kill...

And wouldn't you if you were dressed like this?

Quality cars, quality Engrish

I want one of these because:

"This model is for one passenger driving casually like a scooter with newly developed engine."

Excellent.

I... er... WHAT?

Here's a slice of video strangeness from Japan. What the heck are the last three seconds all about?

I like clutter

But not quite this much.

You need to buy a Mac, people

Hi. I'm one of those undead zombies recruited by the sinister Cupertino corporation to blindly spout on about any pile of rubbish produced by Apple as being the best thing since sliced beans. Yeah, but this feels a bit special.

I'm not a great fan of Nine Inch Nails. However, I was very impressed to read in the great Music Thing blog that the new NIN single has been released in GarageBand format.

So? Let me explain. What makes the current Apple range so exciting is not the hardware (although it is good) but the software - specifically iLife '05. It comes bundled with new Macs and costs £49 to buy. It's got digital photo management software, movie-making software, a DVD authoring package AND a multi-track recording studio. Yeah: FREE with a new computer.

It's idiotically simple to use. On a good day, with a bit of mental discipline and a raft of good ideas, I can finish a song on a Sunday afternoon. One Sunday I did three. A few weeks later, a bit drunk and rather tired, I threw together a few clips (I'd never edited video on a computer before) behind the second song of that rather prolific Sunday.

That video has now been downloaded over 15,000 times, and the reviews are in.

Not bad. Want more?

I'm not bragging here. Honest. It's the computer that enabled me to do all this - or, more to the point, the software. Free software so easy to use that I can have an idea and actually get it down without stress and hassle in the form I heard/saw it in my head. This is what happens when you take powerful creative software and put it in the hands of people who simply shouldn't know what they're doing. People like me and you.

For crying out loud, Daisychain took me two hours with a piece of software I'd never had the inclination to use before. You've heard the buzz surrounding Tarnation? Made with the same free software on a budget that, frankly, took the piss ($218.32, to be exact).

And that is why I am so idiotically excited about Trent Reznor's gesture for us Garageband users. "Here's my work", he's saying: "go and play."

Now here's the thing. The hardware is so cheap now that you can put together a studio for £500-£600 should you wish to. The excuses stop here. The creative divide in the future will not between can-do's and can't do's, but between simply will-do's and won't-do's.

There's a creative party going on. You coming? I dare you. Discover something.

Kids! Steer clear!

More like this here. What fun.

And OOOH! Look at all the Comic Sans!

Don't press the button

No, really. Don't.

Unintentionally sexual comic book covers: Part 1.

This needs no explanation. Just go and laugh.

The Earth Is Not Moving

Well blimey:

"The Earth is not rotating...nor is it going around the sun.
The universe is not one ten trillionth the size we are told.
Today’s cosmology fulfills an anti-Bible religious plan disguised as "science".
The whole scheme from Copernicanism to Big Bangism is a factless lie.
Those lies have planted the Truth-killing virus of evolutionism in every aspect of man’s "knowledge" about the Universe, the Earth, and Himself."

Loopers.

Abston Church of Christ

Constructed entirely from Lego, this gargantuan church gives me the hots in an odd kind of way.

Maybe I just have a thing for obsessive women, I dunno.

Fetch! Wake Up!

I shouldn't laugh, but here's a video of a dachshund with narcolepsy.

Pffft.

Stuff from the dollar store

I love dollar stores. They're like pound shops, but 47% cheaper. Buy enough shit and you'll recoup your airfare. At this point, I'd like to offer a big shout out to Dollar Tree at 2090 Olympic in Springfield, OR* - purveyors of cheap ibuprofen to the hungover and arthritic at only $1 (duh!) a bottle.

Anyway: The Book of Ratings has reviewed a bunch of stuff from dollar stores and it's mildly diverting.

*Yay for Springfield and its stuff.

Installing Linux on a Dead Badger

I'm doing this tonight, because I can with this helpful article.

Hosting: the truth

Seems reasonable. I must give them all my money.

I like kites, and I like digital cameras

So imagine the mildly retarded noises of joy I made when I saw this fantastic piece of geekery.

Oh, yes.

Superman is a Dick.

I always suspected it. Here's the proof.

Manifest Destiny as a cheesy video

I can't watch this video without howling with laughter.

Who is this man and why would he look better with Alice Cooper's make up? And why would he sound better with Alice Cooper's talent?

Discuss.

Get your future foretold by a chihuahua

It's only $25 and she takes Paypal.