Monday, December 26, 2005

An unwise experiment for Christmas

Don't mess with Federal Agencies. That's my experience after bizarre shenanigans with the INS caused by a poor, deluded daft sod who sent an anonymous letter alleging all sorts of rabid crap about my supposed drug-fuelled terrorist past to Portland INS from Holland, PA. She also hand-wrote the envelope (du-uh!): a big thank you there to the INS man who interviewed me - and a big hello to the Freedom of Information Act.

On the other hand, should you want to ignore your Uncle Sp3ccylad's advice and get the G-Men on your case (Angus! NO! Your mother's a bad enough influence), Richard M. Smith has the perfect project to make sure you never fly in the US without a thorough shakedown.

For the record, I ALWAYS get a shakedown, and they always check the insides of my shoes before boarding. The fact that I have custom orthotics (long story and, funnily enough, linked to the letter) makes for the odd scary moment, I can tell you. So: why the shakedown? I think they clocked the fact that I attended that hotbed of dangerous radicalism, Finkin Street Methodist Sunday School.

Good god, Margaret Thatcher went there. Isn't that scary enough?

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