Legalize Polygamy

No thanks mate. My life is complicated enough. Still, if you fancy a giggle, click on the underlined bit.

Shiny, shiny teeth. And stuff.

Firstly there was that... thing involving shenanigans at the White House. You know which one. If you don't, then read on down. But it ain't nice.

Now I bring you this:

"Still stood in stunned silence, the youngest of the four began to realise the stories she had heard were true, WBF girls school really was the hotbed of lesbian tooth brushing activity she'd been told and secretly dreamt about."

Yes: it's a lesbian tooth-brushing fantasy.

Read more here. G'wan. You know you want to.

The hell that is slash fiction

I'll type this quickly, blog it and forget it. Ohgodohgodslashfictioninvolvingdickcheneyanddonaldrumsfeld. There. I said it. Not safe for work. Not safe for anything. EVER.

I'm going to take my brain out and steep it in bleach for a few hours. I feel dirty: and it's not a good dirty.

An unwise experiment for Christmas

Don't mess with Federal Agencies. That's my experience after bizarre shenanigans with the INS caused by a poor, deluded daft sod who sent an anonymous letter alleging all sorts of rabid crap about my supposed drug-fuelled terrorist past to Portland INS from Holland, PA. She also hand-wrote the envelope (du-uh!): a big thank you there to the INS man who interviewed me - and a big hello to the Freedom of Information Act.

On the other hand, should you want to ignore your Uncle Sp3ccylad's advice and get the G-Men on your case (Angus! NO! Your mother's a bad enough influence), Richard M. Smith has the perfect project to make sure you never fly in the US without a thorough shakedown.

For the record, I ALWAYS get a shakedown, and they always check the insides of my shoes before boarding. The fact that I have custom orthotics (long story and, funnily enough, linked to the letter) makes for the odd scary moment, I can tell you. So: why the shakedown? I think they clocked the fact that I attended that hotbed of dangerous radicalism, Finkin Street Methodist Sunday School.

Good god, Margaret Thatcher went there. Isn't that scary enough?

Thanks, dear. It's lovely.

Looking for the perfect belated gift this christmas? Well, you just missed the chance to buy a toadskin handbag. As the blurb said:

"Strange? Yes!
Attractive? Yes!
In the shops? Definitely not!"

You can say that again.

The Mothers of Disinvention

Oh, blimey - the concerned parent is back, and this time it's noise that they're after. They seem to have been going for some time, but (for the most part) I don't think Mothers Against Noise will be coming after Sp3ccylad's music in the near future, for I am an old fogey prone to Dadrock. Allegedly.

What tickled me about the site was the inclusion of The Pink Floyd Of The New Millenium, Radiohead - they are considered as a "gateway band". Damn right they are - they lead to Coldplay.

Incidentally: lucky, lucky Apple Martin. When her dad is asked to sing her to sleep, it must work like a charm. God knows it does for me.

How Motorways Work

The title is a joke in itself. They just don't. There's so many cars on British roads that motorway driving is a white-knuckle journey into hell. So we have here a guide to the sort of irritations that make driving in the UK such an interesting experience (hey! let's play spot the euphemism!), written with the sort of wit that makes one want to hug the author.

Read it and weep - here.

A seasonal game

Here's your scenario. Santa has blundered into a house through the chimney and is trapped inside a train set's tracks. Glasses of booze appear. Drink them for points.

However, what will the booze do? They'll make him more unstable and more difficult to control with the cursor keys. So, if Santa blunders into the train tracks - and this train set will be confiscated by West Yorkshire Trading Standards, I tell thee - he gets electrocuted.

Mince pies will appear. Eat them. They fortify him against the zapping. Fiendish, anarchic fun.

A great game: the link comes courtesy of LeVic, source of a proportion of The Scaramanga Six's income. Play Sober Santa 2 here.

Couple finds stoned owl in Christmas tree

There is nothing I can add that will dress this up...

Football-based tomfoolery

Oh, dearie me.

Me and the missus were watching Manchester City's demolition of Birmingham City last night - whooping triumphantly at the 4-1 drubbing handed out. We liked it so much, we watched it a second time on Match of the Day on BBC1.

During the post-match interview (click here to read the match report and for a link to the interview), Manchester City manager Stuart Pearce spoke glowingly of the rather fantastic youth policy that the club has these days, saying that he was always willing to give youth a chance. He then rather cheekily put out a plea for young players to join City; urging them (slightly tongue-in-cheek) to "write in, if you will". The following conversation ensued:

Mrs Sp3ccylad: I should write in. I could play for City.
Sp3ccylad: You should. Draw a picture as well. I dare you.

Never dare Mrs Sp3ccylad. It always ends in tears.

So, write in she did. The letter and picture are below (clicking ensures massivity). If we get a reply, I will post that too. We possibly have too much time on our hands.

Cripes (or: From an office party hangover to this?)

she's smiling 'cause sp3ccylad's on her ipod

And I'm blushing furiously for the same reason.

Thank you, Blue Gal.

More music?

Oh, yes: and it's quite different to the last one. Not so noisy. More atmosphere. Very much a winter song.

Spun Out

I'm quite proud of this. It's also pretty bloody honest.

Enjoy.

Separated at birth: Sp3ccylad and...who?

Well - what a surreal and upsetting start to my day. After hanging out at the disreputable street corner that is quinparker.com, I took his advice and tried out some face recognition software.

Anyway - I uploaded my photo, waited... Only to be told I was a 70% match for Salvador Dali. Uh? What? Then, delving down the list of close matches, it gave me John Ashcroft. John Ashcroft.

You know, it was like my mac was participating in some bizarre version of Newman and Baddiel's History Today sketch. "You see that Spanish surrealist, the one with the idiotic moustache and the permanently surprised facial expression? That's you, that is. That's you when you go to gigs in Huddersfield."

So there you go. Should you want to try out this frankly puzzling piece of tripe, it's here. You never know - it might work for you. Or it might tell you you look like Pol Pot.

John Ashcroft (mutters death threats).

New Song!

Yup. It's a SONG. I be songing once more. And it ain't all cuddly. Ooh, no.

It's that difficult "second album" thing.

What we have here is a spiky surfpunk/rockabilly doodad. Listen through click-magic.

Everything Has A Price

Origami Boulder Company

"YOU BUY WADDED UP PAPER NOW!!!!":

Here's one for the laydeez...

Oh dear:

"Your period comes every month, but Xmas comes only once a year. So bring that menstrual joy to this holiday season with these tampon tree decorations. From a string of tampon lights to a star at the top of the tree, feminine hygiene has never been so festive!"

I can't help thinking this one's a bit of a niche market. Go see for yourself at Tampon Crafts

Actually, I'm reminded of a bunch of students from my year at Uni. I was at a place famed for its liberal approach towards the arts, and these girls took it further than most. They hung tampons from their living room ceiling, but not before they'd dipped the ends in red gloss paint. It wasn't as if they were making a point - they just thought it was funny.

Think on this: they'll be all responsible now. Some of them may be schoolteachers. I shouldn't name names...

Mad egg game

And oh, boy: is it certifiable. I'd say sectionable, but it doesn't seem harmful. Basically, you have a dozen eggs and you have to jump them vertically from eggcup to eggcup. Some of them move, some of them don't. Drop an egg, lose a life. A dozen eggs dropped equals Game Over.

It's well addictive. Play it here.

Don't blame me if your spouse (or significant other) leaves you.

I'm not entirely sure what to say about this

You Are Cupid

A total romantic, you're always crushing on a new reindeer. Why You're Naughty: You've caused so much drama, all the reindeers aren't speaking to each other. Why You're Nice: You have a knack for playing matchmaker. You even hooked Rudolph up!

Which of Santa's Reindeer Are You?

So I'll stay mute on the subject.

Stats and beats - the ultimate MusicGeek confluence

Oh, Music Thing, I love you. One of their readers who is way geekier than me has adapted Excel to work as a drum machine.

Where I can see the whole thing going horribly wrong is with the usage the guy wants to put it to. Apparently, he wants audience members to play it with a wireless xBox pad that he hacked to work on USB. The ex-drama student in me is clapping wildly at the thought of audience participation. The music bit of me (notice I avoided calling myself a musician) is wincing horribly. Most people think Meg White is a good drummer.

God, I hope it quantizes on the fly. I suspect, however, that it doesn't. Ouch.

Portrait of the Reader as a Young Dork

A challenge from Gizmodo:

"Here's what we want: one scanned photo of you looking like the biggest dork in the world at age 10-18. We want too-tight shorts. We want long hair and walking sticks. We want inappropriate trench coats and Battlestar Galactica-themed hairstyles - Wiki Wiki Wiki!"

Scary, eh?

More details here.

Floating Logos Project

Eep! Imagine a world without very tall poles. That's the Floating Logos Project. It's a bit crackers, and I heartily endorse it.

Help!

I need somebody!

Quickly, mind.

Because it's arbitrary, that's why

I like pointless projects. Doing things for the hell of it and having other people join in is one of the things the internet is good at. That's why I love t'interweb. And one of those venerable futilities is the Degree Confluence Project.

The whole point of it is to take photographs of every integer confluence of latitude and longitude on the planet. Yes, it really is that gloriously futile. To show my utter approval of the project, I'm illustrating the entry with the only confluence point I can say I've definitely been to - 45°N 123°W, literally on Interstate 5, near Salem, OR.

Woo for confluences!

Should I be jubilant?

Dodging Bullets: neither funny nor clever

Well, unless it's this rather spiffing little reflex-tester of a game. Simply click the mouse on the B of the Bang to dodge the bullet. I tend to get around 10,000 points before I die, and I'm not claiming to be any good.

It's got to be better than writing lyrics. Hasn't it?

Prince questioned on Diana death

Imagine my confusion when I saw this headline on the BBC News site this morning. But then I realised that in 1997 his name was The Artist Formerly Known As Prince. So that's OK.

Having said that: triple album or not, Crystal Ball wasn't much of an alibi.

I'd really rather not, if it's all the same to you...

Simple link - a menu where things got a bit lost in translation. Hilarious? Puerile? Dammit; with me, isn't one so often the the other anyway?

Battle of the toys!

Never mind Transformers: what do you get if you face off Lego against Rubik's Cube? Well, apart from a bunch of brightly coloured geometric shapes, you get CubeSolver: a Lego robot that actually solves the Cube. Which makes it cleverer than me; had I not already co-opted the excuse of not really being bothered.

An admirable use of technology, I'm sure you'll agree. Next week, I hope to bring you a tsunami early warning system made entirely out of Stickle Bricks.

Run, Jesus! Run!

A daft game. Hit the X and C keys to make Jesus run. You'll play it a few times and get well sick of it. Click here to get it out of your system.

Text-Pong

Yes! Text-Based Pong! And this time: it keeps score! Wow!

The 371-day iPod

My iPod died today.

It started to do odd things yesterday (it was really struggling to find songs) and today I decided to wipe the drive and start again. It wouldn't play ball and the resulting HD probs were playing havoc with my mac - I saw way too many beachballs this morning. So in the end I gave it up for dying, if not dead. Imagine how I felt about that. I was distraught. No: screw distraught - I was bereft.

So - I did some mental 'rith and reasoned that it was probably about two weeks out of guarantee. Never mind, thought I. There's probably something I've missed. And anyway - I could probably fit a new HD with one of those kits I believe you can buy. But it wouldn't do any harm to take it to one of those Apple Geniuses I hear so much about - and as the 2nd Apple Store in Europe is but a train ride away (and a bit), I may as well. If you want a death certificate, you can't write it yourself, can you?

So I did. With iPod in hand (note beginning of sentence avoiding a lower case letter) I made my way to Manchester.

Took it to a guy in the Trafford Centre Apple Store called Julien. Francophone, but I wouldn't insult him by assuming his nationality. He tested it and... he shrugged. Like Francophones do. Then he went to have a word with his manager. It turned out it was 6 days out of warranty - and he replaced it anyway. I couldn't say much. I wanted to do cartwheels all over the shop, but I thought it might look smug. So I just sat at the genius bar, all smitten with my genius. Wow.

What a guy, what a company. I've just fallen in love with Apple all over again.

Tragedy for toy people

Car crashes. They ain't funny and they ain't clever - escept when they're lovingly reproduced at 1:43 scale using bonsai trees. CrashBonsai is one of those sites I wish I'd thought of. Actually, I'd have to take that back because the thought of actually having to do it clashes rather violently with my incipient laziness.

No, you're welcome to the idea. But it's a bloody good one.

I'm at it again

Yup, the music is back, and while I get back into singing mode again here's an instrumental to get you in the mood. A bangin' electronic piece to dance around the living room to.

Get the glowsticks out and enjoy.

You're Still Gullible

I love eclectech. But I'm not a stalker. Honest.

No, a while back I championed Doghorse's version of "You're Gullible", a wicked parody of James Bl(o)unt's nasty little pondslime of a song. I should stop mincing my words. It'll be good for me.

Anyway, eclectech - animal masher to the stars - has put together a flash animation of the song with added tomato-throwing interactivity that borders on the cathartic. Watch this work of near-genius and sing/throw along by clicking on these differently coloured words. There. That's how the internet works. Educative and informative. What more do you want? Casual sex?

Pimp My Coffin

Americans. Always going too far in the death thing. Here we have a company that specialises in wildly bespoke coffins and caskets so you can go out in style. The're called the The Original Oxford Coffins Company, and they've got an 0800 number which means... (gulps hard) they aren't American at all, but British. Oh, Christ on a unicycle: what is this country coming to?

To answer the question in the scariest way possible, click here and wince.

The country's going to the dogs, I tell you.

I've been to paradise, but I've never been to me. Or Portsmouth, for that matter.

I've visited the counties in yellow. Which counties have you visited? made by marnanel map reproduced from Ordnance Survey map data by permission of the Ordnance Survey. © Crown copyright 2001.

United States Patent: 6,960,975

I'm sorry but I don't get this. Do they not check patents anymore? Well, if they do, the guy who checks them was having a off day when United States Patent: 6,960,975 came through.

Where's Michael J Fox when you need him? "Flux modulation controllers" indeed.

Life Inside a Water Bottle

I like the internet. No, I do. Honest. Why? It's full of people less lazy than me; which is, in a way, the purpose of this blog. People do interesting stuff that I can't be arsed to do, and I bring them to your attention, because you can't be arsed to find them. So; when will you marry me?

Sorry. I got confused. Bear with me here.

Right. Where was I? Yes. Thomas Mottl. He's a photographer. And like me, he's wondered what it was like to see life from the inside of a water bottle. Unlike me, he didn't think this at work. I did once. I asked a random colleague about what it must be like in there, got looked at oddly and I shuffled back to my desk feeling a bit stoopid. See what my life is like?

Also unlike me, Thomas did something about it (get the feeling I'm trying to tell myself something here?) and produced a marvellous 360º panorama. It's a bit crazy, and mighty wondrous. I've linked to the intro page. Read how he did it there to whet your appetite and then click the link on the page to view it.

Wow.

Personalized Punk Rock Doggy Hoodies! Whew!

I kid you not:

"Sweatshirt or Fleece Dog Hoodies. Your dog doesn't look stupid wearing them."

I beg to differ. Go on - see for yourself.

A neat piece of common sense from Penn Jillette

I like Penn Jillette. I seem to remember liking his daughter's name some time ago. So imagine my delight when he said this on NPR today:

"You can't prove that there isn't an elephant inside the trunk of my car. You sure? How about now? Maybe he was just hiding before. Check again. Did I mention that my personal heartfelt definition of the word 'elephant' includes mystery, order, goodness, love and a spare tire?"

A nice start to a very thoughtful essay.

Catch the bit on forgiveness. I wish I could do that all the time. Still, I get the bit about getting it right first time. It's really important to me.

Read it here.

A game to make you late for work

Simple game - 9 boxes, numbered 1-9. Throw 2 dice, and close any boxes that will add up to the scores on the dice. The game ends when you're stuck and you can't make the boxes add up any more. Play Shut the Box here.

Well, DUH!

You scored as atheism. You are... an atheist, though you probably already knew this. Also, you probably have several people praying daily for your soul. Instead of simply being "nonreligious," atheists strongly believe in the lack of existence of a higher being, or God.

Hey: like this came as a surprise to me. Click the slightly over-literal graphic to take the test for yourself.

There's some funny people out there, pt 326

A big "yoo-hoo!" to iwouldshagher.tk, a list of the girls the webmaster would shag.

Er, that's it.

She's causing trouble again!

Oh, heck. Middle sister's causing trouble. Actually, scrub that, she's performing a necessary service. I shan't explain Whirl-Mart, as a good explanation of what she's up to is available here, and it reads as good as anything I could write on the subject.

Once you've read that, take a look at a Whirl-Mart action she put together in Helsinki.

What fun. Or what a bunch of loons, depending on your standpoint.

Me? I'm proud to be her brother. You do right, Ange.

Donnez la boule à l'homme chauve!

Hello, football types. Ever had a kickaround and imagined you're playing with the world's best? You know, like Brian Glover in Kes? Well, sometimes dreams come true - as they did for this bunch of blokes who found themselves having a kickaround with Gallic pre-penalty vomiter and all-round balding genius Zinedine Zidane. Actually, for the guys in the other side, it's a complete nightmare. Poor lambs. Watch and giggle (or wince) as Zizou makes a complete arse of a bunch of Sunday League players here.

Now you know the meaning of "in a different class".

"You're gullible..."

Not too keen on James Bl(o)unt, me. Never was. I find him anodyne in the extreme compared with a talent like David Ford (iTunes store link). So imagine my joy when I heard Gullible, a spot-on parody of Mr Bl(o)unt's hype-driven nonsense by the highly mischievous Doghorse.

I'm considering playing this live; but I may not survive the night.

I was fooled

Not only is my tinfoil helmet useless against aliens, it is also a possibility that I may be a tool of the US Government. Read on, peasant.

Best. Cover. Version. Ever.

Oh, this is fantastic.

Playmobil - Security Check Point

I offer this post without comment.

Wear Your Cat

There's an interesting prospect. And no, this isn't about to get the animal rights people screaming - for I am bringing to your attention an enterprising little company called VIP Fibers Inc, who make yarn out of your pet's fur. It's an interesting proposition, and far better than the mess my cat leaves on a daily basis. Check them out here.

Now, given the size of my cat how many YEARS would it take to make a decent sweater?

Wrestlers of Mexico City

They RAWK!

Whoa!

Dawn of the Knitted Dead

You know, I like obsessive people. I'm one in a kind of benign, non-compulsive way. And Hannah here is another one. I like her. Now, I'm a bit of a fan of George A Romero. Martin is my favourite film, personally. That's because I'm a bit odd, I suppose. And because I like Soft Cell's take on the film (link to iTunes music store snippet).

Anyhoo, Hannah J Simpson seems to be cut of similar cloth to me. And she's produced her own homage to Dawn Of The Dead. In wool. No, really: she has. And it's really quite spiffing. Take a look.

See? Spiffing.

The Cars from Wacky Races! In Paper! Wow!

Three guesses who might be getting the Pritt Stick out this weekend. For some wonderful person has made a bunch of templates for paper models of the cars from Wacky Races, which was required viewing for me back in the '70s

Take a look here and, hey: leave a comment if you make one.

Paula Orpington. Very odd.

Can anybody explain this ?

Francophones are more than welcome to try.

Gadget city!

It's amazing what you can get for your USB port these days. How's about an air freshener?

I want one. Whatever next: printing from your USB port?

I've just gone off bread

And believe me, you would too if you saw these...

Gay Action Man porn on Flikr

Let's get the NOT SAFE FOR WORK thing out of the way first, shall we? I'm even having trouble thinking of a place where this would be safe, to be honest.

OK. The title gives it away in a nutshell. Gay porn with dolls. They've even oiled the guys.

Look at the photoset here and either wince or say "well done". I did an odd combination of the two.

Scary fun, in a nutshell.

Waxing David Hasselhoff

Yup. A daft game. You get to do exactly what I just advertised.

Go on. You know you want to.

SpoiledrottenDoggies

Oh, and they are.

Hier siehst du ein Baby. Weißt du, wie es auf die welt gekommen ist?

Germans are crazy. No, trust me. They are. I spend a lot of time in the company of Germans, and they're quite barmy. Barmy in a nice way for the most part, but still quite odd.

And this is a example of good German oddness. It's a book. On where babies come from. Only it's a tad too detailed.

See?

It's probably not safe for work, unless you work for a children's book publisher that somewhat oversteps the mark (in which case you probably know the book already).

Bar Signs

You know the thing about talking? It inhibits drunkenness. And drunkenness inhibits shyness, which gets you talking.

Houston, we have a problem.

So why not develop a non-verbal language to get us past that thorny issue? Modern Drunkard magazine has done us proud. Let us salute them. Non-verbally, of course.

Drink, anyone?

Over Three Hundred Proofs of God's Existence

And I don't get any of them. Ho hum.

I'm Ba-a-a-ack!

And good lord it's been hectic. Just moved house, had a few things moving on the music front, got a friend with big mittens... It's all been a bit crackers. I'll drip-feed you as we go along. Read on.

Still, I'm back. Wouldn't you know it, I have a blog entry about poo. Nothing changes, really.

Now - here's a healthy new way to poo - or is it an old way. No matter. Anyway, why not squat to improve your health? You have a proper toilet, I hear you mutter. No matter - try Nature's Platform. It'll take 300 lbs. There you go - even YOU can use one. And you know who you are.

Enjoy!

I been so busy

And here's the latest new song - all acoustic and open G tuning. All this playing live is making me live in the real world.

Here, have a free download:

I'm Talking About You

Enjoy.

EDIT: some reviews!

"I was going to blather on about how bloody brilliant you are and how you've pulled another bit of magic out of your oddly-tuned gitbox, but I think I'll just go listen to this gem of a song again."

"Absolutely brilliant. Tops."

"as for your song, it's sounds like it didn't take any effort to make! as though you just stepped up and there it was... done already. the production is very smooth and allows for easy falling into. "

Then of course, there's one last plug for my cover of an Oasis song that had me dubbed "the Hendrix of the kazoo"...

Don't Look Back In Anger

Death by Caffeine

I'm not a suicidal man by nature. Except when I am. Which is never. Well, that's OK, then.

Mind you, were I suicidal, which I'm not, I can think of a worse way to go than dying than via a caffeine overdose. Actually, I can think of loads of worse ways of dying; some of them could be self-inflicted. Not that I'm planning anything. Oh, no.

Anyway, where was I? Suicide. That's it. ODs on caffeine. The practical guide. Here.

If you're wondering what a caffeine overdose is actually like, then take a look here. It's pretty comprehensive, but I would dispute the order of symptoms towards the end...

I give up. Where do I put Moldova?

Could you manage to place all 45 European nations in the right place? Without boundaries to help you? Try here. I got 93% correct with an average error of 19 miles. Can you do better?

Bet nobody posts their results as a comment.

EDIT: That was pavlovian, wasn't it?

Pinch me.

Crazy stuff from the bible

One of my favourite Simpsons episodes is the one where the hurricane hits Springfield - it's layered with meaning on so many levels and the gags pile up one on top of another beautifully. The faux title-sequence when the hurricane hits is fantastic, but the best moment must come when the Flanders family are holed up in the church and he prays...

"Why me, Lord? Where have I gone wrong? I've always been nice to people! I don't drink or dance or swear! I've even kept kosher, just to be on the safe side. I've done everything the Bible says; even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff! What more could I do?"

What more indeed. And, really this is a rather long introduction to this - a half-way decent compendium of all the "stuff that contradicts the other stuff".

What fun.

Teaching flies a lesson

A spiritual one, that is - and that is to Work Well With Others.

Bless.

DC Comics get heavy on Gay Batman

It seems that DC Comics are a bit lacking on the old tolerance front. Remember the Gay Batman stuff? Well, DC are running around handing out cease and desist orders: like it'd never occurred to anybody that a bloke dressed in a black, tight-fitting body suit with a young, good looking sidekick and a thing for bodybuilding might have a, shall we say, rarer-than-mainstream sexuality.

Anyhoo, Stay Free! Daily has all the details. Along with a joyously stupid capslocked comment directly underneath.

Read on, people.

Fancy bibs

Now I can eat like the slob I always wanted to be with one of these.

Apparently, they look just like a shirt or a blouse (except they have food all over them).Now I can eat like the slob I always wanted to be with one of these.

Apparently, they look just like a shirt or a blouse (except they have food all over them).

Basic Rules to be a Blues Musician

I was wondering what I was missing here and now I know:

"1. Most blues begin "woke up this morning."

2. "I got a good woman" is a bad way to begin the blues, unless you stick something nasty in the next line.

I got a good woman,
With the meanest dog in town.

3. Blues are simple. After you have the first line right, repeat it. Then find something that rhymes. Sort of.

Got a good woman
With the meanest dog in town.
He got teeth like Margaret Thatcher
And he weighs 500 pounds."

And with these rules I can find out where I'm going - sorry, goin' - wrong.

Llanfairpwll - How to Say the Name Llanfairpwllgwyngyll...

Here's a new hobby for you.

Good luck - and when you've mastered it, post a sound file of you mangling it.

I do hope it's as good as this one; which is class, frankly.

Comedy Tuneage

Yes. I've been playing guitar in public again - and I performed this last night at Bar 120 in Huddersfield, almost as an afterthought. I reckoned a properly recorded version might be a good idea, and here it is. Well, until Noel Gallagher sues me, that is.

Don't Look Back In Anger

Download and enjoy. It brought the house down last night, and led to one big bear of a drunk insisting he was my "best mate" whilst insisting on calling me "kazoo boy".

Kazoo Boy.

He then followed me out of the pub and asked me where he could get a drink. At 3am, for crying out loud... I went to get a taxi and left him to pursue alcohol.

Ah. The Great Unwashed, eh? It's my public; and they baffle me.

Busted. Grounded.

One of my maxims in life is to never play a computer game that my mother plays. Given that my mother doesn't own a computer, that's a fairly abstract point. Someone should tell the guy who made post 3 in this World of Warcraft forum. In fact, way better - read the forum and share in his embarrassment when his mother joins in...

The iTheme continues...

With this daft video clip.

Oh miGod

If there's anything cuter than a baby, it's... What have we created?

Perfume.

Alan Cumming is a fine actor and a very witty man. He also likes perfume. Do I have to spell out what this perfume is called? You guessed it.

I have a friend who I suspect, given her reaction to several of my anecdotes recently, would find this pant-wettingly funny. Just remember, dearie: the toilet's on the train, and it's just left.

I can see your house from in here

Most of the mural
Originally uploaded by atduskgreg.

Oh for a friend like this. What you see here is a satellite photo of the neighbourhood around the place being transformed into a mural. The shapes from the photo were simplified in Photoshop and then it got projected onto the wall to be copied in pencil and painted in.

Here's the odd thing. The mural is South-up. Why? Because that's the way the wall faces. And admit it - who doesn't do that with maps anyway? I do.

Quite magnificent.

Frank's Vinyl Museum: The Internet Home of Weird Records

My regular reader (bless her) knows I love odd, old records and Frank's Vinyl Museum is the lodestone. Everything from the Banana Splits down complete with soundbites is present here (check out the special awfulness of BEATS!!! THE MERSEYSIDE SOUND!) and if you don't spend quite some time here you need your head testing.

***UPDATE*** It has "Hot Dog Man" by Elephant's Memory! RESULT!

I want a door like this

That's if it is a door. I mean, it's all in Japanese so it could be anything. But if it is a door, isn't it cool in a sci-fi kind of way? Just imagine if it goes wrong, though.

Arcade Game Tokens...

Tons of them. On flickr.com. Wow.

A life-affirming game

Well, not exactly. Pop your life choices unto this glorious piece of pessimism and watch it describe you in the worst light possible.

It's funny, but don't tell your therapist.

Dinosaur Adventure Land - "Where Dinosaurs and the Bible meet!"

Meet? Then what?

"Since 2001 Dinosaur Adventure Land has been a place where families can come to learn about God's Creation through science and the bible."

Uh-huh.

"DAL is comprised of a 3 story Science Center, Creation Museum, and Theme Park, making it fun for all ages, and one of the most amazing Creation Parks in the world."

Right...

"Our goal is to win souls to Christ, by giving everyone another choice. You can believe that you came from a rock, or you can believe that a loving God created you for a purpose."

And make money. Don't forget the money.

There's a bit of me that wants to run a mile and a bit of me that wants to go to Dinosaur Adventure Land - "Where Dinosaurs and the Bible meet!"

No. Scrub that. I ain't goin' nowhere.

Stop Alien Abductions

And you can with this lovely hat. Actually, this one's for the laydeez, as tinfoil is so Barbarella, so 1969, isn't it?

However, don't throw the tinfoil away yet as it'll be in next spring.

I got it licked now

I've been away a few days. Work issues, mainly - been working way too hard. So let me return with this superb article from the good ol' Register-Guard of Eugene, OR that details a football coach's somewhat bizarre practices. And ask yourself this: what's wrong with band-aids?

Astronaut Wee - it's the real thing

When I was little I wanted to be an astronaut. After reading this, I've gone off the idea.

That'll do it every time.

Do what? Lose your licence to practice law in Idaho, that is. Read on, peasant.

Pukephone

I like Richard Tingley. One of the new breed of multimedia artists that seem to spring up all over the place these days, I last featured him here at AAH when I mentioned the 200 project - an insanely ambitious project to make 200 short animations - which used one of my songs as number 3. What a nice man.

Anyway - what is there to dislike about this man? - he's now getting into the whole idea of circuit bending; the black art of customising musical toys to make renegade electronic instruments. He calls his first instrument the Pukephone. It looked like this before, and cost £2.35 on eBay:

Go here to see what he did to it and how it ended up.

I can't wait for the first MP3, me.

Slot racing heaven

When I was three, my dad bought me a Scalextric set. Three. I ask you. Have you ever seen a three-year-old's motor control? No prizes for guessing who it was really bought for. And playing this, well I can't blame him.

It's utterly addictive. Play RallyTrophy by clicking on the differently coloured word.

Woo.

Project C-90

Project C-90 is, pretty much, what it says on the tin - an online archive of cassette tapes. They even have Boots Audio and the Winfield Alpha Plus cheapies from Woolworth's. Awww.

Bookmark it to show to your grandchildren.

Sugar Crash

Haha! Silly game alert! Keep the child bouncing with sugar to burst the balloons and send your kid through hoops.

Daft, silly fun. Play Sugar Crash here.

Odd news from Indiana

...Northwest Indiana actually; where it seems a teenage boy got hit for refusing to share his underwear - with his sister.

Ulp.

Go on. Buy yourself a Bipedal, Exo-Skeletal Semi-Robotic Vehicle!

And I don't see why you shouldn't, as it's only $40,000. You know you want to.

Planarity

It's a favourite theme of mine, the maddening game; and Planarity is a superb example.

You get a bunch of dots joined by lines. You have to move the dots so that none of the lines cross. Level 1 (pictured) is easy. Don't be fooled: it gets difficult really quickly.

One for the type of person who gets excited by möbius strips, I feel.

(Er, that'll be me then.)

Eddie's Head

Eddie Breen is a right rum 'un, as we would say oop north. He buys paintings and then overpaints them to create something he calls "Piggyback Art". It's pretty interesting. Take a peek here, and don't have nightmares.

You have to wonder, don't you?

In the world of product marketing there are all sorts of boo-boos out there. There's the legendary Pocari Sweat that everybody brings back from Japan and no doubt there's a car out there that's called something rude if you read the name in Portuguese.

Then there's Semtex. Breathtakingly odd piece of product naming here. Why in heaven's name would you want to call your energy drink after a notorious type of high explosive? Misjudged is not the word.

All the same, I am tittering: but quietly, and wincing at the same time.

Babies With Beards

Babies. With beards. What else can I say?

Fun in Tennessee

Oh yes. Teenage mother with two kids has blazing row with 21 year old hubby. Can you guess how it ends? Ouch.

The iPod Flea

It seems to be another of those zeitgeisty weeks, doesn't it? This week, it's the iPod.

So, ladies and gentlemen (or whichever one of you is reading this this month) give a big "booyah" and raise your right hand in submission for the iPod Flea.

Fantastic.

Gorgeous, big-nosed beauty

Bored with your tiny, Japanese nose? Then buy a peg to deform it.

Given the size of my konk, I must be a sex god.

Wood iPod

Now here'a a brave man. Zapwizard has made a new case for his iPod. Out of wood.

A genius, obviously.

I'm bored with my dog

So I bought a disguise for it.

Wah!

Oh look. A man who can inflate his own forehead.

Do it yourself animation

Somrthing to keep you happy here - a nice creative pursuit. Draw your own animations, flipbook style - no talent required. Pop over to FLIPBOOK! for the skinny.

Demolish a building! Woo!

Inside every man is a teenage boy. No. That so needs rephrasing.

Let's start again.

We all have an inner teenager (that's better) and mine was awoken by this wonderful quicktime image of the demolition of the Convention Center in Charlotte, NC. Drag your mouse across the image to animate it. Shuffle from side to side and it does a wonderful dusty dance.

Gelignite-tastic.

Sexy album cover cheese shop

Oh yes. I think I just died and went to cheese heaven.

This selection of sexy album covers celebrates the art of promoting your music by putting a good looking lady on the cover - preferably scantily-clad with a come-hither look.

It's quite wonderful in a "how we used to live" way.

Communist era posters

I like these - I always have. When I was in Prague recently, the national contemporary art museum's Socialist Realism section gave me enormous pleasure. And you never know, popping over here might do the same for you.

The picture that goes with this post is chosen not for its draughtmanship but for the fact that it looks like a bloke who was a major influence on me; a man who would have been constantly mistaken for both Shakespeare and Lenin - were they not both dead, that is.

Dr. Ian Mitchell of Grantham College, I salute you.

The Wake n' Bacon alarm clock

Wake to the smell of cooked bacon. Mmm. Unsanitary.

Churchgoers explore 'the force'

Oh. Sad, this is.

18th Century Graffiti

Some things never change, and one of these immutables is the urge to scrawl things on walls for others to see. Bog House Miscellany is a collection of graffiti from the walls of 1730's London that amuses and informs by turn.

For example:

"No Hero looks so fierce in Fight,
As does the Man who strains to sh-te."

It made my morning.

Yeah Yeah F*cking Yeah

Welcome to my new song: it's very sweary, so don't listen if you don't like that kind of thing. On the other hand, if you do, then click on the image.

Then go for a lie down.

Let's make a stuffed animal

Every day. For a year. Oh yes.

Gay Batman Art

Not safe for work, unless your work has an interest in Batcock. Get an eyeful here.

LATER EDIT: I'd not long blogged this when I got a knock at the door. Twas the meter reader. Nothing wrong with that, you might say. Oh yes. We have one computer chair and a cheap Ikea jobbie that the cat uses. Our suite is outside waiting for KMC to come and pick it up. The living room has two computers, two guitars, and a MIDI keyboard strewn across it. There is no other furniture, as the new suite is yet to be delivered. It looks like a student hovel in here.

Then, just to add pain to my embarrassment, there's a picture of Batman and Robin kissing on the screen of the laptop. God only knows what the meter reader was thinking, but he didn't say it out loud.

God help me.

Words that rhyme with orange

Highly informative.

Jack Kilby, a giant among engineers, dies

None of us would know anything about each other on the web without this guy.

I'm not smug

its all gone a bit jules verne
Originally uploaded by twhume.

You know, I was a bit put out that I didn't have a ticket for Glastonbury this year.

Then it rained. Oh, crikey: did it rain. Resulting in the situation you see in the photo opposite. I'd love to see what the shroomheads are making of this. One thing: they couldn't be done for having dried ones...

Wanna see more? Then go here

It's pointless game time!

You're a bird sitting on a wall. Fruit drop from the sky. If they land on the wall, bricks fall out. You cannot cross the gaps made by the fruit. If a fruit lands on you, you will die. You only have one life. Your only hope is to eat the fruit with your long rubbery tongue.

Welcome to the world of PYORO.

Feel my joy

If you want to know how life feels for me, click here. Takes a while to load, but now you can be Sp3ccylad. Actually, I was going to say "you can be Sp3ccylad without the musical talent", but hey; spot the difference.

Homebrew Air Conditioning

Wow. Canadian student makes his own AC unit for next-to-nothing.

What a guy.

Hey: they have the same Queen as us, don't they? Isn't he eligible for some sort of honour?

Lost: dog with six legs and two penises. Answers to name of "Lucky".

I am not joking. Really.

Argh!

Scary celeb art.

Man Rescued from Mechanical Toilet

Man Rescued from Mechanical Toilet
Originally uploaded by beezly.

Not the greatest of photos; but oh, to have been there.

Yes, it is the supaloo on Market Street in Huddersfield, and yes, they are having to rescue someone from it via the roof.

Priceless.

Art Basel 36'05: a funny old place

Like I say; Art Basel is a funny old place. I was at Art 22'91. When I say "at" I'm not being strictly accurate.

I was working for an art gallery in Bradford and our application to exhibit at Art 22'91 had been turned down as we weren't flavour of the month anymore. So we fought back good and hard. We got in touch with a gallery in Basel (Galerie Goetz on Steinentorstrasse), arranged two floors' worth of exhibition space and took £500,000 worth of contemporary art over. Oh, and me. In costume. For the opening, I played a Milliganesque butler who doddered about spilling Earl Grey tea and falling down two flights of stairs. My party piece was to hassle people who didn't want tea by forgetting I'd asked them. I managed to ask one guy 15 times. It didn't make up for missing Happy Mondays playing Elland Road, but it was a giggle.

I had to do something outside Art Basel itself to bring the punters our way. It was on the other side of town at the Messe so we needed to do something spectacular. We had a newspaper printed up in German and English and I had a costume made from a design by Isabelle Craven. Gold boots, black tights, gold belt, a black top with a crest, a blue floppy hat, a red cape and an electric blue codpiece. My character was called "SuperHuman", and he was the crappiest superhero ever. No special powers; just very, very human.

Then there was the logistics. Two tram journeys each way. In costume. Twice a day. I got to the point where I would sweep onto the tram, cape flowing, and breezily greet my fellow commuters. "Good morning!" I would declaim, "Are we ready to fight evil?" The Swiss are more reticent than the British, by the way.

I would do my bit in 90˚F, sweat, go to the gallery, drink free beer and step out in the evening with a delightful young woman called Daniela who worked in an English language bookshop by day and swore like a trooper by night. She learned English in Ramsgate. Need I say more? Dani now has two kids. Funny old world.

Why do I mention this? Because at Art Basel 36'05, a bar of soap has sold for $18,000. But not just any old bar of soap. Read on.

Teenage Kicks 3000

The regular reader of this blog may remember that I took the death of John Peel rather hard. I was by no means the only one - the man informed the musical taste of a generation. Since the Peelmeister's death, a number of sites have cropped up painstakingly archiving the man's work. Teenage Kicks 3000 is but one of the crop, and I blog it just at the point when the keeper of TK3K lists the Festive Fifty for 1986. It's a festive fifty I remember well - I was a first year Drama student at the time. Peelie actually lectured his listeners for predictability - The Smiths made up seven of the fifty and four of the top ten. I remember him hitting the heights of tetchyness when he revealed the number one, threatening to knock the whole exercise on the head unless his listeners showed more imagination...

Can you imagine any media figure today both garnering such affection and acting in such a way? Such was the legend that was Peelie. What a guy.

DIY corner

Got a table saw and a baby? Well, here's a do-it-yourself project you can start this afternoon.

NO! READ THE PAGE FIRST!

Bible Sex Stories

Yes. No mysteries here. I get a very strong feeling some people won't like this. Go on. Take a peek. I won't tell.

There are some funny people out there, part 97

I love wild water rides at theme parks. In fact it's my second favourite thing at theme parks - after the exit, that is.

On the other hand, we have a bloke who's so enamoured with the whole wild water thing, that he's actually built one. In his back garden. Out of wood. And... stuff. I'm not sure I'd want to run the risk of living next door to him. I mean, this project seems pretty cool to play with, but what is the next project going to be? God help Germany if this guy ever gets an obsession with nuclear weaponry. Take a look at the pictures (which are just the right side of rubbish for maximum comic potential) here.

The amazing four-eyed cat

And I don't mean it wears glasses. Otherwise it would be sp3ccycat. Actually, that's given me an idea. In the meantime, enjoy the story of the Oregon cat born with two faces.

PS. I blogged this in bed.

It's summer! And that MUST mean ginger beer!

And vurt.co.uk has had a crack at making the stuff. It's not quite an authentic ginger beer plant, but it's quick and easy. It's all detailed here.

Intel Ins... No, I can't say it.

Intel processors in Macs. I'm still shaking my head.

And you know what gets to me the most? It's that sticker. So: how will Apple deal with the issue? Nitrozac and Snaggy have some ideas over at The Joy of Tech.

File under: scurrilous.

Wally Wise knows to go inside

Umatilla. It's a great place. The chemical dustbin of Eastern Oregon, it's where all those nasty chemicals that the US Army hold that other countries (don't actually) have are being destroyed.

Just in case your kids don't get how dangerous the US soon-to-be-destroyed WMDs are, we have the worst computer game in the world to tell them what to do in case of an emergency. Can Wally Wise avoid having his shell seared off with noxious chemicals? Will he do the right thing?

This makes the Tufty Club look sophisticated. Eep.

Casefancasefancase

Mad PC user takes cooling to insane levels.

Whoops!

Looks like somebody left a stealth bomber out for the cameras...

Security!

The messages companies give out are often at odds with the reality of their content. We all know that. Hell, I have a sister who's spent the last few years pointing that out.

Ask yourself this question. What if one of the silhouetted guys from an iPod ad actually walked into an Apple Store and did his Thing? The answer is right here in this quicktime video.

Wince along with me when he drops his iPod, won't you?

An (attempted) murder of crows

First it's cats bending our minds, now it's crows attacking. This is one of those days where a theme seems to develop. Apparently a jogger was attacked in Battersea Park by a pair of crows the other day. Now I'm not talking a little peck here: this is full on Tippi Hedren stuff.

Take a peek here for the full horror. Woah.

Cats practice mind control - FACT

My cat is taking over my brain. Well, according to this article in the Times she is.

What?

Yes. It's an iPod cover made out of chain mail. Get the full skinny at Uncle Horn Head

German city builds 'sex huts' for World Cup

Yup: that's what it said.

Out last night

Went to see this guy (on gut instinct): the I-can-happily-say-in-retrospect fantastic Duke Special. A bunch of kind, thoughtful songs delivered in a broad (but not harsh) Belfast accent with wit and style. One to watch in the future, I hope.

His website is here.

Come to that, the support acts weren't bad either. David Ford delivered a great set that featured a park bench and on-set painting (and - sad, but true - I own the painting *parp*), and I arrived during Alec Townsend's set. He's in local band Serotonin and (frankly) he surprised me with the sheer maturity of his songcraft.

A great night, and some great music.
(And no. I'm not putting an apostrophe in.)

Hello Kitty stress test

Yes. You can be psychologically analysed by a Japanese trademark with dodgy English if you click here.

Wow. Have I achieved some sort of Zen state?

Vintage Phamaceutical Ads

These are great. I mean: got a fretful child? Shove Nembutal up the little darling's arse.

More crazy drug adverts here.

Exit Mundi

What was it Robert Frost said about the end of the world? Forget it. This is the real deal. Exit Mundi is a fascinating selection of end-of-the-world scenarios that may or may not happen. Sounds gloomy? Don't you believe it. This is excellent stuff. Witty, engaging and compelling.

Matters of national security...

Matters of national security...
Originally uploaded by JodyDigger.

OK. This takes the biscuit. This road sign really says "Secret Nuclear Bunker".

I'm not entirely sure how to react to this.

Ah me. Memories.

A page full of vintage BBC radio themes.

Brought memories of sitting in front of a Pye valve radio in the kitchen with a dodgy ITT cassette recorder taping selections from Tom Browne's Top 40 show on a Sunday. My little sister had a choice recording of The Brotherhood of Man's Figaro being interrupted by my dad lamping my middle sister for gobbing phlegm in the kitchen sink. She used to dig the cassette out and we'd nearly wet ourselves laughing.

Grantham was a bit dull in those days.

Penn Jillette names daughter Moxie CrimeFighter

Best. Name. Ever.

Woah.

Boy! I say, boy! Let's buy a chicken suit!

One of the greatest humiliations I ever had in the workplace was when I dressed up as a carrot on the streets of Bradford to advertise the veggy cafe at the art gallery I was shirking in. I rapidly got a lesson in the joys of Yorkshire plain speaking. How I craved a proper job after that.

I mention that as when I navigated towards this I thought the chicken suit was something to be worn by humans: but oh, no - this is a suit for chickens:

"Austrian Edgar Honetschlaeger said he decided to work with the Japanese on the project because he hoped to make the chicken label clothing essential. He said 'It's something that you don't really need but everyone wants to have anyway'."

Clothing for chickens: for the Rhode Island Red in your life. Brian Friedkin would approve.

By the way, in a bit of a diversion (and this is SO not safe for work) I was looking through the aforementioned Mr Friedkin's site when I found some pictures of my old back garden (Brian was my next-door neighbour, and we shared a garden space). The thing is, all the pictures have a lady in advanced stages of undress, flashing pink bits everywhere.

I feel odd.

Still, it's a nice garden. It has some nice bushes, anyway.

Monkey Steals the Peach (Ninja Mind Control)

Monkey Steals the Peach (Ninja Mind Control)
Originally uploaded by Theremina.

Ow. OW! OWWW!

What is it about these ninjas, leaping around silently, stealing one's peaches?

Marvel here at this scan from a book called Ninja Mind Control, where our black-clad fighting mammal demonstrates how to stop that bloke from Dr Alex Comfort's The Joy of Sex from engaging in any more pencil-sketched shenanigans in an extremely decisive manner.

Incidentally, the bit about the heart stopping is well-founded in western medicine, I am reliably informed by the resident ex-nurse (and current wife).

My testicles have retracted into my sinuses. Egad.

You Make Me Sick, too

You Make Me Sick
Originally uploaded by Erik R. Bishoff.

Absolutely priceless - May 25th, 13th and University on the UO campus in Eugene.

It's quite the list isn't it?

Maddening bouncy ball game

Say hello to POOM!, a quite insane 3D keepie-uppie game. It's well tricky.

Play it here.

Dress up Steve Jobs

Explore the Apple CEO's insanely great magic closet. It's simple, it's fun and holy crap I'm late for work.

Dimes Must Die

Here's a man with a mission:

"The March of Dimes may have cured Polio, but a march of Quarters would have cured it 250% faster."

He has a kind of point there.

How To Be A Successful Evil Overlord

As this page is entirely in Comic Sans, I cannot recommend that you visit it.

SPADER SMELLS SHATNER IN BED SCENE

Best. Headline. Ever. And the actual story is equally mindblowing.

Universal rights gone bonkers

Remember Voyager I? 28 years after its launch it's now the first piece of interstellar junk ever. Or is it? Remember, it has that record on - you know, the one with sounds of Earth, etc. So, assuming the aliens can sense sound waves (and that's a big if), and can work out how to work a record player, they should be listening to a whole bunch of stuff.

But not The Beatles.

Why? Find out here...

Abused Amazon Images

You know those insanely long URLs you get when you look up anything on Amazon? Well, like you'd expect, every bit means something, and that applies for the image URLs too.

What's fun is that Nat Gertler has taught himself how to hack those image URLs to make (kind of) art. It's er... kind of hard to explain and far easier to go there and look for yourself...

.:: BUMPERBALL ::.

Crazy title, crazy game. Bumperball is pretty much what it says on the tin - playing football with bumper cars, and it is highly addictive for all that.

Play Bumperball here: and make the most of it because I'm off to Prague in a few minutes.

Told you I needed a holiday. See you Sunday.

Making bras...

...out of men's underwear. This gets me oddly curious.

Did I ever tell you how much I hate prissy girls?

Is it art, or is it just plain old crap?

Have a go at this quiz and find out the hard way.

Hello

Lionel Richie's video for Hello must be one of the most cringesome ever made. I remember plotting a spoof version of this video which ended with a dummy being hurled off the top of Morrison's car park in Grantham.

Y'see - I never claimed to be tasteful; but neither was the original.

Relive the video here.

Control and Communication in the Animal and the Machine

Or, to put it mure succinctly, a cockroach-powered robot.

Woah. I need a holiday.

DIY Laser Sword Sex Toy

I have never seen any of the Star Wars franchise. My fear is that I may meet someone who thinks making a homemade Laser Sword Sex Toy is a good idea.

My flesh is crawling already.

Animation time!

The picture above is a still from Guilty, an animation accompanying a song of the same name by yours truly, made by the very talented Richard Tingley.

Watch it here.

Crazed...

...is the only way to describe this eBay auction.

There's some funny people out there.

King of the Flies

Quite a disturbing little animation, about... about.... Oh, just watch it.

A room with a view

Not that I'd want to live in it...

Bomb detection on the cheap

Now, this is an interesting use of lo-tech:

"A young private in that platoon has one of those radio-controlled toy cars. When they find unidentifiable debris in the road, E.S. sends out his little RC car and rams it. If it's light enough to be moved or knocked over, it's too light to be a bomb, so we can approach it and get rid of it. If it's heavy, we call EOD. At night, they duct tape a flashlight to the car."

Going "Outside the Wire" with RC Cars

Spamusement

Spam. I love it. Many a happy hour has been spent reading spam subject lines out loud for the endless mirth and enjoyment it causes. Then I inject heroin into my eyeballs.

So email is next-to-useless for any normal purpose. Never mind, there's always this bunch of poorly-drawn cartoons inspired by actual spam subject lines.

Ah; I feel better already.

The picture says it all, really

I've seen cases where the Beeb get stick for inappropriate photos and/or captions. This one was so right, I snorted my tea - and I support Manchester City, for crying out loud.

I have to laugh. Hey, I could be Delia Smith.

Here's one for the ladies....

I was faffing around in old-computers.com this morning when I found this: the Honeywell H-316 - AKA the Kitchen Computer.

$10,600 in 1965, it had 4KB of memory, weighed 150lbs and came with a chopping board.

I'm NOT making this up.

Geek Fantasies

It's a wind-up. Tell me it's a windup.

If it isn't I can think of at least one person wanting to slobber into his beer over this.

Michael Dragson

Have tons of child-like fun with this conceptual marriage of Michael Jackson and Mr Potatohead.

I got "child", "fun" and "Michael Jackson" in the same sentence. Yay for me.